Fawning

What it means

You’ve probably heard of fight, flight and freeze. Fawning is a fourth response: calming the situation by pleasing, agreeing or going along, often before you even know what you want.

It usually starts as a smart way to stay safe around someone unpredictable. As an adult, it can quietly cost you your voice.

What it can look like

• Saying yes before you’ve thought about it
• Apologizing when someone else was wrong
• Reading everyone’s mood the moment you walk in
• Not knowing what you like when no one is around to please

Where the term comes from

Therapist Pete Walker described the fawn response in his work on complex trauma.

Want to check in with yourself right now? Try the 30-second mood check-in.

Related words

This is educational, not a diagnosis or therapy. If you’re struggling, find support here. In crisis in the U.S., call or text 988.