The Mood RingWords our grandmothers didn’t have
Parentification
When a child had to be the grown-up.
What it means
Parentification happens when a child takes on a parent’s role: raising siblings, managing the household, or becoming a parent’s emotional support or confidant.
It often happens out of necessity, and it can build real strengths. It can also leave you feeling responsible for everyone, and unsure how to just be cared for.
What it can look like
- Feeling responsible for everyone’s feelings
- Not being able to rest until everything is done
- Being called “mature for your age” growing up
- Feeling uncomfortable when someone takes care of you
One thing to try
Finish this sentence in your journal: “It was never my job to ___.” Read it back to the child you were.
Where the term comes from
Family therapists Dr. Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy and Geraldine Spark wrote about parentification in the 1970s.
Want to check in with yourself right now? Try the 30-second mood check-in.
Related words
This is educational, not a diagnosis or therapy. If you’re struggling, find support here. In crisis in the U.S., call or text 988.
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